September 30th from the Rory Files
I am in Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada. Its an amazing city, or am I saying that so you think I'm having the best time ever just so I can outdo the time you are currently having. Both. hahahaha, we smoked crack yesterday and then rode in one of those floatplanes that takes off and lands on the water. It was unreal, or did it even happen? I don't know either, it was some pretty kickass crack. Tonight is the last of 3 shows we are doing in Kelowna. The town that doesn't stop rocking until 12-2ish a.m. like most towns. The very first night here, some very nice audience members asked me to go with them to a bar. I said yes, not knowing I was going to witness a murder. So anyways, there I was in the bar. Just minding my business staring at the dancing strippers. Yes, dancing strippers, what else would they be doing? Then out of nowhere someone says "hey, lets do a jagerbomb." I thought to myself, "okay." Thats when things went the way of the gun. And by gun I mean sloppy drunk rory talk. I wasn't actually sloppy drunk, we just did the one shot but we drank 400 beers, swear to God, 400. Then off to a club called "LEVEL." It was a techno raving, strobe light, beat pumping heaven. I was out of my element, so I did what I usually do in situations where I know noone. I became the shady guy in the corner who needs a haircut. Out of nowhere a guy comes up to me and says "hey, you wanna see me make a dead body?" Of course the answer was yes, its called living on the edge and I'm clearly a rockstar comic who lives about the law. What could happen? You guessed it, murder. I'll stop here and point out that I realize this is the shittiest, least informative blog ever. I know. So anyways, the shows here have been fun, the crowds have been young and rowdy but not to the point where I couldn't get the jokes out. Its been cool. The trip here form Calgary was a 7 hour drive through the Canadian Rockies. Incredibly beautiful. I've never seen such awesome nature. Huge Rocks covered with snow and happiness towering over the small road and vehicles. The water was so clear and clean, I wanted to bathe in it like they do in the movies. I don't know which movies but I know I've seen that happen sometime. Right Robin Hood? Right. Okay, back to the point at hand. There isn't one. Hope you guys enjoy reading these incredibly entertaining online diary entries. They warm my heart.