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Sunday, September 16, 2007

Another blogpost?

Thats right. Lucky you. Another blogpost. Here we go. So today I woke up around noon and joined Andy Haynes for a lovely morning ride across Seattle, over to Capitol Hill. There we went for a coffee and exchanged ho hummeries. Then I was informed he was going to get lunch with his girlfriend and I couldn't play the 3rd wheel. The shit really did hit the fan. I threw my cup of coffee right into his face cause I thought it would be funny. Turns out the coffee was way hotter than I predicted. He starts screaming for dear life yelling out "it burns, oh fuck this burns." Meanwhile the rest of the coffee shop sees whats going on and they love it. They think we're some sort of 2 man street act that just got to town and wanted to test out our new material. They are having a rip roarin good time and I decide to start passing out DVDs of my standup. Andy is in deep tears on the couch, trying to regain sight when bam Shock G walks into the coffee shop. He was carrying a keytar and a bad attitude and boy did it really get the room jumping. Andy was doing is best to dial an ambulance on his laptop cell phone but he still couldn't see straight and wasn't getting very far. I thought to myself, "well, we do have the time while Andy recovers...Shock G, do you wanna play a jam with me real fast?" Of course he says yes cause I'm standing there with a smile the size of smiles in Texas and just looking scrumptious. We start off with a slow jam and the crowd starts coming to their senses. We clearly aren't a 2 man road show. We're clearly a 3 man circus. Thats right. They all start crowding around me and Shock and just start snapping pics with camera phones and cameras and just phones without cameras. It was unreal. After our 5th encore, the people refused to leave without letting us take their money. We did, lots of it. Andy's share is probably going towards some sort of facial reconstructive surgery. I'm probably gonna put mine down on a laptop. Shock told me he was going to buy a robe for me. I told him thats foolish, thats his money, he should take the robe. Well one thing leads to another and suddenly we're fighting it out like ninjas in the parking lot. He does not see a decline of offer as a nice gesture. He is pissed that I would deny his kindness. We're both there in tight hipster jeans and no shirts. He has 3 bandanas and I'm wearing a backwards Cleveland hat. Not a particular team just a hat that reminds people that Cleveland exists. We each have a sword and by now a rather large crowd has gathered around us. Just before I take my first swing in his direction...poof...he turns into Humpty Hump and everyone starts dancing. He's pegging me in the face with confetti and everyone is having the laugh of the night. Andy comes running outside with a huge smile on his face and he's removed his fake Andy face and everyone realizes he never was hurt by the coffee, thanks to Latex. I turn to Shock G and we hug just to show that the previous ninja battle was merely our closing sketch. The three of us take hands and bow to the gracious audience. I've never felt like this before in my life. The road really is awesome. Seriously, this is what the road is like.


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